Does helping someone out, mean that someone is forever in your debt?
There is an age old question about whether you would do something wrong if nobody would find out. The other side of that coin is, would you still do the right thing if nobody found out?
It seems to me that the highest ideal is do the right thing, even if nobody knows it you, even if someone else gets the credit. Because it’s the act itself that is important, not the effect on you. Of course this is an ideal. I must admit, if I do something nice to someone I have strong feelings for, either family or friends or more, and I don’t get acknowledged for it, it hurts. But, I also know it should not matter. What was important was that it was done, not that I get the credit for it. And maybe, my feelings for the person is stronger than their feeling for me. But that’s just means I need to re-evaluate the friendship, not the act itself.
What really bothers me is people who do something good and then expect the recipient to be in their debt forever. Now, if someone do me a favour, I do feel indebted to them, and will try to pay them back somehow. But that’s my choice, my sense of balance. I do not feel it’s appropriate to push my values on other people. I don’t think I should feel entitled to payback. If it was, I should have made it clear when I did the favour, that it came with a condition of debt. But I think most people would feel that is wrong. If you want to do the right thing, just do it or don’t. But don’t then go and have expectations on other people. Chances are, you are going to be disappointed.
It’s bothers me. That you give someone money, and expect it back (just call it a loan if you wanted it back). Or do a favour and expect payback or honours or acknowledgement. It doesn’t feel right. It taints the original act.
People should just do what’s right without expectations. It would make for a better world.
But that’s just my philosophy. What do I know?
