| Manspeak | English |
|---|---|
| "Was it good for you?" | "I'm insecure about my manhood" |
| "I had a wonderful time last night." | "Who the hell are you?" |
| "I've been thinking a lot." | "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk." |
| "I'll give you a call." | "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again." |
| "I'm a Romantic." | "I'm poor." |
| "I think we should just be friends." | "You're ugly." |
| "Haven't I seen you before?" | "Nice ass." |
| "I have something to tell you." | "Get tested." |
| "No, I don't want to dance right now" | Shoot! She'll know she gave me a woody! |
| "The break-up should not start 'til tomorrow" | "I want to have sex a few more times." |
| "You're the only girl I've ever cared about" | "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me." |
| "We've been through so much together" | If it was not for you, I never would have lost my virginity. |
| "I've learned a lot from you." | "Next!!!!" |
| "I need you" | My hand is tired. |
| "I want you back" | ...for tonight anyway. |
| "I am different from all the other guys" | I am not circumsized. |
| "I miss you so much" | I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good. |
| "Want to snuggle?" | I noticed you were almost asleep. |
| "Do you love me?" | I've done something stupid and you might find out. |
| "Do you really love me?" | I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later. |
| "How much do you love me?" | I've done something *really* stupid and someone's on their way to tell you now. |
| "It's just orange juice, try it." | 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head. |
| "She's kinda cute." | I want to have sex with her till I am blue. |
| "I don't know if I like her" | She won't sleep with me. |
| "I really want to get to know you better." | So I can tell my friends about it. |
| "How do I compare with all you other boyfriends?" | Is my penis really that small? |
| "The car isn't running right." | I want a bigger engine and more knobs to play with. |
| "My tools are obsolete." | I can't figure out how to work the old ones and the commercial says even a chimp can use the new ones. |
| "I know where I am." | Oh God! Where the HELL am I? |
| "I need new shoes" | The pair that I've had since high school fell apart in the rain. |
| "The remote is broken." | Come here wherever you are and change the channel for me. |
| "I'm hungry." | Make me something to eat |
| "This kitchen is so inconvenient." | I can't see the tv from here. |
| "The dishwasher is full." | I've run out of places to hide the dirty dishes. |
| "It's your decision." | I'm totally clueless, so you decide and I'll just take half the credit. |
| "We need to talk." | I need to complain. |
| "Sure,... go ahead." | I don't want you to....but.... I'll use this next time we fight, to show how supportive I am. |
| "You're,... so feminine." | Do you do laundry... cook...windows...bake? |
| "Let's be romantic... turn out the lights." | Beer gut? What beer gut...Ohh....uh..o. |
| "You want..." | I know what you should want. |
| "We need..." | I want. |
| "Do what you want and sulk." | I'll just sit on the couch. |
| "I'm feeling romantic tonight." | There's no game on tonight. |
| "I'm not emotional! And I'm not over-reacting!" | I'm losing my hair. |
| "I had her." | I had (wet dreams about) her all week. |
Thanks to Jose Antonio Ochoa for sending me this document.
