Pick-Up Lines
Compiled by/\lly
=-= Rebuttals 1 =-=
She: Where are you from?
He: Mars, for all practical purposes. I gather you must come from Venus.
She: [disgustedly] No, I'm from Uranus.
He: Hmmm. Now that you're barking, I know that you come from Pluto.
=-= Rebuttals 2 =-=
A man walks up and says, "Haven't we met before?"
Say, "Yes, I'm [your name], the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
=-= Rebuttals 3 =-=
- Haven't I seen you someplace before?
- Yeah. that's why I don't go there anymore
=-= Rebuttals 4 =-=
In the department "nice turn downs" there's this one: I'll have to think about that, thinking makes me tired, when I'm tired I want to sleep, not make love, so let's not, okay?
=-= Rebuttals 5 =-=
He: So, wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
=-= Rebuttals 6 =-=
He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.
=-= Rebuttals 7 =-=
The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused was:
Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you. (In reply to No, thank you).
=-= Rebuttals 8 =-=
He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: That's in the phone book too.
=-= Rebuttals 9 =-=
There's always Harlan Ellison's great failure:
Q: Wha'dya say to a little fuck?
A: Go away, little fuck.
=-= Rebuttals 10 =-=
He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.
=-= Rebuttals 11 =-=
He: You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you.
She: (tries to ignore him)
He: You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?
She: Hmmm...you really love sex and travel?
He: (nods his head smiling)
She: Then go take a fuckin' hike!!!
=-= Rebuttals 12 =-=
I like the line I once heard in a movie. This guy was trying to pick up this girl, and she said to him, "Can you pound a railroad spike through a 2x4 with your hard-on?" To which he merely shudders a negative. She says, "Well, a girl's gotta have her standards."
=-= Rebuttals 13 =-=
- Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
- Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter. (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)
=-= Rebuttals 14 =-=
Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.
=-= Rebuttals 15 =-=
A guy comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line. She grabs his crotch, looks down at it, looks back at him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see any potential here" and nonchalantly walks off.
=-= Rebuttals 16 =-=
He: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized
=-= Rebuttals 17 =-=
After hearing a pick-up line: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."
=-= Rebuttals 18 =-=
A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's approach her in a club while she was in college with the line, "Where have you been all my life?"
She took one glance at him and said, "For the first half of it, I wasn't even born yet."
=-= Rebuttals 19 =-=
A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She turned around and said to me, "What are you looking at?"
My friend, walking next to me came to the rescue, "He thought you were good looking, but he was mistaken."
=-= Rebuttals 20 =-=
While at college, a few friends were discussing how their "passes" had been rejected by the intended female receiver. One of the ladies explained how she handled it once...
When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out something like, "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason!" She responded, "Yea! Let's pick up come chicks!" He immediately blanched, and decided that maybe he would look someplace else.
=-= Rebuttals 21 =-=
The attractive young woman was sitting at the bar, alone, when the lounge lizard made his move. "I'm here," he breathed huskily, "to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." The woman turned and looked at him. Her lips parted and she moistened them with the tip of her tongue. She leaned toward him with her hands on her thighs, and her eyes opened to the size of dinner plates. She paused just a second and then delivered the crusher line, "You've got a large donkey or Doberman?" The guy turned as green as his golf slacks and slipped away without a word.
=-= Rebuttals 22 =-=
- Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
- Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
=-= Rebuttals 23 =-=
He: Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time.
She: You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing cheques that your body can't cash.
=-= Rebuttals 24 =-=
- Your place or mine?
- Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
=-= Rebuttals 27 =-=
- Hey, baby, what's your sign?
- Do not Enter
=-= Rebuttals 28 =-=
- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
- Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!
=-= Rebuttals 29 =-=
- I'm here to fulfil your every sexual fantasy.
- You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?
=-= Rebuttals 30 =-=
- I know how to please a woman.
- Then please leave me alone.
=-= Rebuttals 31 =-=
- I want to give myself to you.
- Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
=-= Rebuttals 32 =-=
- I can tell that you want me.
- Ohhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.
=-= Rebuttals 33 =-=
- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
- Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
=-= Rebuttals 34 =-=
- Your body is like a temple.
- Sorry, there are no services today
=-= Rebuttals 35 =-=
- I'd go through anything for you.
- Good! Let's start with your bank account.
=-= Rebuttals 36 =-=
- I would go to the end of the world for you.
- Yes, but would you stay there?
